Mob 2008 Blog

What did you do today?  I got tased today with 500,000 volts of electricity!

What did it feel like you may ask?  OK, get about 70 people and give them all a 12 oz. ballpeen hammer.

Then find a master at acupuncture and have him label all of your most sensitive pressure points with a big “X”.  

Then, on the word “GO,” have all 70 people pick an “X” and hit it with their hammer at the same time.  They repeat hitting you each ¼ of a second for as long as you are getting tased (or until you pass out!)

Yeah, it’s that much fun.

Why would a person do this to themselves you may ask?  Well, we were demonstrating a bunch of non-lethal weapon systems and no one wanted to get hit with a taser.  I’ve been hit before (but it was a different system and wasn’t as bad as this one) so I volunteered to get hit.

After the demonstration, the Deputy Commanding General of Iraq (who was in attendance) gave me a coin.  (You can read about the history of the coin challenge here… http://www.coinforce.com/challenge-coin-history.htm)

The funny thing was, immediately following the demonstration, I needed to race back to my dinning facility to be there for the kick off of the Army’s “Go Green” program.  (Not only do I run the only 24 hours dining facility left in Iraq, I was the first person to get this program starting in theater.)

At the kick off, the Deputy Commanding General walks in and starts talking to my nutritionist about the program.  Once I got there, she introduced me to him (not knowing about the taser event.)  He immediately thanked me for doing such a great job and presented me with another coin (that I declined by telling him that I just got one for getting tasered!)

Oh well, 500,000 volts could have only killed a few brain cells, right?  

Here is a really bad scan of the coin…

Gee, it’s hard to tell us apart from this angle.

(I’m the one on the left if you are still having problems.)

Today we needed to fix two lights on the largest tower on the base.  So it was me and one other soldier were the only ones qualified for the climb.

It was quite a neat sight to see.  When you get on top of a tower in the middle of the desert, you can see forever!  The view was breathtaking.

The lights were removed so they can get repaired.  I did manage to take a few photos.  Due to security concerns, I can’t post them.  I did get one of myself in the tower.  I retouched the photo to remove any view of the base from the sky.

It was fun and I can’t wait to get up there to put the lights back up!

Well that is the question that I was presented with a few weeks ago.  I had to figure out how to get a camel on the base.  Understanding that it needed to be searched, and controlled on its journey in our piece of Iraq.

Well today, Tayyah, came to visit us.  He is a young Iraqi camel that is very cute, friendly, and quite a blast to have around.  He is unpredictable and it makes things quite fun for us.

With all the planning, coordination, documentation, and all the work I put into this, nothing could have prepared me for the minute the truck arrived at the gate with the camel.

Can you image the look on the search dog’s face when he took his first look at a ½ ton camel?  It was priceless.  I don’t know who was more confused, the dog or the camel!

Then, there was the crane needed to get the camel out of the truck.  It was quite a production.  

Just for kicks, I also had a security badge made for the camel, you know, just to be official!

But he is here with us for the next two days.  Soldiers can go see, pet, take pictures, or just check him out.  He leaves tomorrow, and I bring in another one on Saturday.  At least this time the search dog will be ready!

That’s right, today marks the 233^rd Marine Corps birthday.  I hosted a large party in my DFAC for the FOB commander (one of the few Marines that are actually stationed here.)

It went over amazingly well. The FOB Commander’s speech was inspiring and touching.  There were fruit carvings and all kinds of decorations.

Of course, there was a cake.  A 4 foot by 8 foot cake.  Here is a picture of me and the infamous LT “C” (who was a former Marine) with the cake.

Below are some of the fruit carvings.  There was even a Statue of Liberty made out of butter!

Semper Fi!

Since our unit was activated for this deployment just over a year ago, we have been forming challenges within our Squadron.  Of course, the most talked about and anticipated of these rivalries was the football game.  No sport more replicates battle than football.  It is a sport where you need strength, speed, agility, strategy, and raw guts to win.  This defines the mission that a Cavalry unit does perfectly.

So the gantlet was thrown almost a year ago to the day, a football championship in theater.  All of the units have been working to get teams together, build plays, and ensure they are ready to stand up to the challenge.

Here are Bucca, we only have two of the units.  But it was the two most excited units in the squadron with regards to the football game.  In fact, my biggest rival, (we’ll call him LT “C”) is in the other troop.

So since we hit the ground here at Bucca, the game has been boiling over.  We both jumped at the chance to join the intramural flag football league, only to find out that our teams were not scheduled to play against each other.  So when the league ended, we scheduled the challenged match!  In retrospect, this was a windfall as we would not be confined to the ultra conservative rules of the league.  We could play tough and make it hurt!

Now let me take a few seconds to explain something about LT “C,” As a former Marine, and an amateur boxer in the US, he is not a person to mess around with.  He is 270 lbs of muscle.  In fact, his boxing record is 10-0.  All of those 10 wins were first round knock outs.  So you understand that this guy is a bull.  Since we both arrived at Bucca, the grudge matches have begun.  And yes, we will box each other before we leave here.

But, back to the football game.  Each team will play “Iron man” style (means that everyone plays both offense and defense.)  I would be nose to nose with LT “C” all night long.

We showed up for the match in brand new, matching jerseys that I was able to barter with an awesome local Iraq shop to get us. (The shop also wanted to donate them to us outright, but we aren’t allowed to accept gifts, so my bartering was to find a price that he *would* accept for them.)  The shop owner was proud that our team picked him to supply us jersey and also threw in matching shorts, and sweat pants into the deal!

So, on with the game!  Each play was a battle.  LT “C” and I were clashing with such force it took on a game of its own.  Within 5 minutes of starting game play, I had a bloody lip and chin.  This was getting good!

Each team was trading scores.  First we scored, and then they scored, then us.  LT “C” couldn’t find a way around me.  About halfway through the game, they had two people blocking me.  This was a game of a lifetime!

If I was writing a script for the game, I couldn’t have made it more suspenseful.  The score came right down to the last play.  Our team, “The Sabers” verses their team, “The Rat Pack.”

The last play of the game was a clincher.  If they scored, they would win.  If we could hold them, we win.  The ball was hiked, the pass was off, and our backfield covered their receivers like a cheap suit.  The pass was incomplete!  The final score…
Sabers-22
Rat Pack-18

In my life, I have had many victories, both on and off athletic fields, but this one was the sweetest to date!  Made even sweeter by the Rat Pack’s call for a rematch!

Rematch?  You can count on it!

All cavalry guys are steep with tradition.  One of the traditions is the christening of a Stetson.  All new Stetsons are christened by drinking a beer out of them.  Note, once a Stetson is christened, you can still drink any liquor out of it.

So, at our unit’s first O call here in Iraq, me and a fellow officer took it upon ourselves to lead the way in the first wartime christening of our Stetsons.  Here how it works…

You stand ready to receive the order to pour.  You fill your Stetson with beer and wait for the next command.

At the command to “prepare to mount,” you grab the Stetson with both hands and get ready to chug.

At the command to “Mount,” you drink.  In one drink you have to finish the beer.  Once you take your lips off the Stetson, you have to immediately place it on your head.  This is why it behooves you to drink all the contents.

If you look at the series of pictures, you will notice the other officer “pussin out” and not finishing the whole beer.

Note, general order number one in Iraq is no alcohol.  We have substituted near-beer to enable us to complete the mission.

And yes, this is the very same Stetson that I ran a 5k race in only a few days ago!

Here is a picture of a local kitty.  The funny thing about this cat is that it isn’t a regular cat.  This is a special, wild bred of desert cat.  As a result, it is protected and cannot be moved off the FOB.

Preventative medicine has even placed a flea and tick collar on him.  He is quite a playful little cat.  He is a real sweetie.

Note, he isn’t this playful with everyone.  He often hangs out by the stage now.